I’m a trustee and huge advocate of Beat, the eating disorders charity and I’m excited about an event they’ve got coming up which will see the advertising industry put in the hot seat whilst we debate what role fashion and advertising have to play in body image and eating disorders.You can find full details of the event below.
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There is a whole language around eating disorders that sounds like Greek to a lot of us:
Pro-ana – website that promotes anorexia
Pro-mia – website that promotes bulimia
Thinspiration / Thinspo – images to inspire weight loss
Fitspiration / Fitspo – images to inspire exercise / body building
In this post we’re going to consider pro-ana and pro-mia sites, who uses them, why they’re dangerous and what parents and schools can do to decrease they’re impact on the young people in their care.
What are pro-ana and pro-mia sites?
Pro-ana and pro-mia sites are websites that promote anorexic and bulimic lifestyles. Set up by people with eating disorders looking to validate their illness and seeking suppo
rt to continue with their eating disorder from fellow sufferers these sites vary hugely in their precise content. They are often a forum for people to exchange pictures and weight loss or purging tips and to encourage one another’s weight loss.
Who uses pro-ana and pro-mia sites?
These sites are often a refuge for people suffering from eating disorders. It’s common for sufferers to feel quite isolated having pushed away their family and friends preferring to seek out like-minded individuals online. There are over 500 such sites and the latest studies predict that they attract more than 500,000 unique visitors a year of which the majority are teenage girls and one in five are aged between six and eleven. Read the rest of this entry »
Whilst most parents will be keen to support the school in helping their child receive appropriate support for their eating disorder, some parents will respond negatively thinking that you are trying to blame them for the problem, that you are blowing things out of proportion or that the school has no business being involved.
Below, I’ve outlined 3 of the most common negative reactions you’re likely to encounter from parents and how to respond.
Parents think you’re blaming them for their child’s difficulties
It’s quite common for parents to think that you’re pointing the finger at them and that’s why you want them to be involved.
You should accept that the news may come as a horrible shock to parents and calmly explain that no blame is intended. You think they are good parents, which is why you’re seeking their support and help.
Useful phrases include:
“No one is to blame for Amy’s illness, not Amy, not us and not you.”
“You are clearly very supportive parents, that’s why we called you.”
“Amy is very lucky to have supportive parents such as yourselves.”
“We’re not interested in attributing blame, we just want to help Amy get better and we’re sure you can help.” Read the rest of this entry »
If a pupil at school is particularly unwell with their eating disorder, their healthcare practitioners may decide that inpatient care at a paediatric or eating disorders unit is the best treatment option for them. It can be difficult for schools to know what level of contact is appropriate or helpful for the pupil – we explore the main things to consider here.
Get to know their healthcare practitioner
The school should appoint a key person who is responsible for liaising with the unit where the child is resident – this could be the head of pastoral care or the child’s form tutor. That person should make sure they have the full contact details of the key person who is assigned to the child’s care at the unit and make themselves known. Arrange a meeting if possible, and if not then speak on the phone. The aim of the meeting is to make it clear that:
- Who the main point of contact is at the school and how to get hold of them
- The school is keen to support the child’s recovery in any way possible – ask for guidance on this
- The school is happy to coordinate the provision and marking of academic work if appropriate
- The school would like regular updates about the child’s recovery
- You would like to know what it is appropriate to tell staff and pupils about the student’s absence
- You would like the child to know you called and that you / staff / friends are thinking of them Read the rest of this entry »
If the school becomes aware of a pupil’s eating disorder before the parents then it’s important to invite parents on board to work with you to support their child’s recovery.
Once you have overcome any objections from the pupil, you should aim to organise a meeting with the parents as quickly as possible.
This post looks at how to organise the meeting and how to ensure it runs effectively
Think about location
With the help of the pupil, decide where the meeting should be held – at school, in their home or on neutral territory. You should do whatever you think will make the pupil, and their parents, feel most comfortable.
Who should attend?
Obviously the pupil and their parents should be present, the pupil may also like to bring a friend along for support and you might decide to have a couple of different members of staff present – for instance the head of pastoral care and the pupil’s form tutor. Again, you should check with the pupil about what they’ll feel comfortable with and try not to set up a scenario which will be too intimidating for the parent.
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Teaching pupils about eating disorders won’t mean they develop one
There is a much perpetrated myth that teaching young people about eating disorders will make them many times more likely to develop one. This simply isn’t true. Eating disorders are highly complex mental health illnesses and not something which will simply develop overnight as a result of a PSHE lesson. Teaching young people (and their teachers) about eating disorders may make the incidence of eating disorders appear to increase within your school, but that is because cases which may have previously gone unrecognised may now be picked up. That is a good thing as it means these young people who had previously slipped below the radar are now receiving much needed support.
Pupils will realise you are knowledgeable and think it’s an important topic
A key benefit of taking the time to teach your students about eating disorders is that this will make them realise that you think eating disorders are an important topic, and one that concerns you. It will also help them to realise that you are knowledgeable on the topic as long as you have prepared appropriately. Read the rest of this entry »
A good relationship with parents can make a huge difference when you’re supporting a pupil with an eating disorder. The pupil, their parents and the school should all be working together towards the common goal of helping the pupil to recover. However, pupils are often reluctant for their parents to be informed and involved for a variety of reasons.
Listen carefully to objections
In most instances, it is important to overcome the pupil’s objections so that parents can be involved in their recovery, however, it is important to listen carefully to their objections before dismissing them because very occasionally they may present a valid reason why a parent should not be informed. For instance, their eating disorder may be in response to abuse they are suffering at home. Here are some suggestions for overcoming common objections you’re likely to face:
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The most clearly evident warning sign of most eating disorders is a change in weight. Young people should be growing and steadily gaining weight until they reach their adult height and weight. It is relatively unusual for a young person to deviate from this course unless physical illness, an eating disorder or occasionally a healthy weight loss / gain programme is followed by the pupil. You should be hyper-vigilant to unusual changes in weight.
Young people will tend to steadily gain weight as their height increases. However, if you notice that a pupil is gaining weight more rapidly than their peers then it is worth taking note of whether they are exhibiting other binge eating disorder warning signs.
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It can be difficult to know what to say when you’re talking to someone with an eating disorder, especially if you’re discussing the eating disorder itself. Many of us fear that using the wrong words will make things worse and it’s common to shy away from saying much at all. But if you put yourself in the shoes of the sufferer you’ll realise that would make for a lonely existence. There are things that you can say that are useful. Here are a few…
“How can I help you?”
It’s really, really hard to know how to help someone with an eating disorder. Maybe you’ve been wracking your brain to no avail. Well here’s a secret… the best way to find out is to ask them. This can be a real conversation starter and you’ll be amazed at some of the suggestions you’ll get back, anything from, “Sit with me when I eat, but please don’t talk” to “Don’t pretend there’s nothing wrong with me” to “Just keep asking, it’s helpful to know you care.” Don’t ask unless you’re genuinely willing to help and support though. Read the rest of this entry »