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Member 5 posts
Posted 2 months ago
My daughter was diagnosed with anorexia in 2016. It all started with phone calls from the school saying she was isolating herself from her friends, then school referred her to CAMHS, when she saw the psychiatrist he said it was anxiety but later was told it was anorexia. Current worry at the moment is her eating has got worse, she has been back and fore to the hospital for re-feeding 3 times this year. This last period at home she refused most food. She is 18 soon so there is the worry of the transition to adult services. We have mentioned a few times about medication which may help her. We want her home, but feel that it isn't a safe place for her if she refuses to eat. One thing I thought of today was the possibility of having a carer in to supervise her meals, until now she had always ate her meals but they were gradually getting smaller! The other option is a clinic. I know the best practice seems to be with the family at home, but this is obviously not working. Has anyone had any experience in a clinic? I have been looking at options online and the Huntercombe was one that came up.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Admin 153 posts
as a mum who has a daughter who has been in an ED unit, I owe her life to the fact that she went into a strict unit. She knew how to press all of my buttons, I was too easily cajoled or frightened at what might happen if I challenged her. It does not work for everyone and sometimes it takes more than 1 admission. I would say that hospitals offer general sustaining care but they are spread over a wide range of illness care programes/ paperwork/staffing demands and although care is often the best that they can give it is not always recovery focused.
My daughter herself says that her ED was all about gaining control in a world in which she felt out of control. She also upholds that she had to want to recover I think this is key. There will be a change when your daughter turns 18 and it is not always handled well be on the case and if y ou don't like what happens complain. When an individual is in recovery and has restored to a safer weight then it is important that she has the chance to take up her life again, try to meet up with friends/ study etc, this is the time when I do think it is important to be at home if you have excellent out patient support, (that was not the case at all for my daughter, lots of paperwork and shiny folders). So my advice maybe goes against what you have heard, my advice is also as a mother not representing the views of the charity, but for me strict and focused recovery to restore a safer weight only happened in a focused ED unit.
Thank you so much. Like you, we have found that when at home the eating gradually reduces and now, thank goodness they are looking into a unit for her. Out of hospital support never really took off, which we felt was crucial, even when her weight increase was significant! Hopefully we will know more tomorrow. Thanks again.
Posted one month ago
I hope that they find you a unit that is not too far away and that your daughter is able to recover there. I found that if I was emphatic and refused to accept something that I was not happy with then I got listened to. I would hope that I am a polite and considerate person; but that means that you can be overlooked, so if you do find yourself vexed by what is happening and what your'e being told keep asking questions and asking for the manager etc. I have heard this from other parents of eating disorders as well. Sending you strength and hope
Thank you so much. So far there are no beds locally. Just waiting now.
Hi , I hope that things are calmer that your child has a bed nearer and that you are getting a chance to restore.
Hi, my daughter now has a bed locally, which is great. The messages we are getting from her sound positive, but I know there is a long way to go yet.
Thank you for your thought.
Posted 12 days ago
Thank you for keeping me updated, I just thought that I would check in with you and see if your daughter has settled down in the unit. It is really good to read that so far so good. When my daughter went in she had to process the change for a while she wouldn't tell me much about what was going on, she was just getting on with it. You are right there is still a journey ahead of you all, but keep recognising the positives. I don't know when her birthday is, if she is likely to still be needing inpatient care then I would strongly suggest beginning to find out what plans the support services will have for here and to ensure that there is continuity of care. Each county has different practices but essentially when she reaches 18 she is mostly likely to referred to an adult unit and in some counties this is not always without problems. For-warned is for-armed doing a bit of research will be really useful.
Hi, I suppose this thread is no longer relevant as my daughter is now an "adult". As always she is not giving us any information and not yet participating in any therapy, but early days. I'm hoping that eventually she will accept all the help and support that is on offer.
I went to an informative meeting today with other parents, nurses and dieticians. A patient was also there, who explained all about his feelings, what hes been going through etc., he answered questions and gave us advice on how to deal with certain situations.
It just needs my daughter to open up a bit them I'll be more confident for the future
Posted 10 days ago
I recognise what you say, it is so difficult waiting for them to open up, I suppose all that I can say is that it just takes time, you will feel as if your feet are stuck in concrete and that nothing is happening, but changes will be taking place. From my experience, my adult child needed time and they sort of have to summon up the bravery to change their behaviours and thoughts. How are you finding making the change from CAMHS to adult services ? Maybe start another thread on that subject in the caring for the adult child as I know that many parents would like to discuss it. Keep strong and keep being there for her, it will mean loads to her, even if she doesn't show it.