My daughter has changed overnight


1 post

Posted one year ago

Hello, my daughter is 15 and thankfully was seen fairly quickly by the CAHMS Eating Disorders team as a result of her binge eating and was subsequently diagnosed with bulimia nervosa. At first she responded pretty well to treatment, which meant me being in charge of deciding what she ate at all meal times. She spontaneously vomits, which i know is unusual and has since been given anti-sickness pills.

However, since last Thursday (5 days ago) it’s like she’s changed personality. She is sullen, hardly smiles and seems to have forgotten her manners. Mealtimes can take ages and last night I found evidence of part of her dinner being spat out (ie not chewed or digested) along with finding out the anti-sickness pills from the last few days hadn’t been swallowed. I have tried being tough on her in terms of getting her to eat and challenging the non-eating, but I’m finding it so hard now and it doesn’t seem to be having an effect. It’s just her and me at home. Her father was emotionally and physically abusive to us both before I left him 4 years ago. I have a new partner, who is massively supportive and who I would like her to get to know in time but she is really negative about me having a relationship. I also work full-time and was promoted shortly before her diagnosis. At the moment I am working half days at home where possible to keep more of an eye on her.

I phoned CAMHS who said to keep the appointment in a couple of days time but they won’t necessarily do anything before then. I’m just finding it so hard. I was thinking of keeping a note of when she doesn’t eat/chucks food away and mention it at the appointment rather than challenge her with it, as that doesn’t seem to work. Any advice and encouragement would be very very welcome.

Thank you so much for reading this to the end 😊


220 posts

Posted one year ago

Hi there, it does sound as if you are having a difficult time and eating disorders do seem like thieves in the night , they seem to steal the person and replace it with someone who looks the same but has unrecognisable behaviour. Hopefully when you are seen by Camhs the support will help you.
This is late advice but I cant see that making a specific note of purging will be useful however a general picture will be very useful. It does sound as if your child has had a lot to cope with, and perhaps that has become to much and left her feeling out of control and an eating disorder will give her a feeling of control, it takes her to a numb place.but maybe she finds that easier to cope with. It is important that Camhs sees the whole picture so that they can put support and strategies in place. Meal times are stressful times for someone with an ED so it is best to discuss what you are wanting them to eat and how away from the meal times, as they will be more reasonable hopefully. This will take time but don't be afraid to keep asking for help for both your daughter and for you.

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