Struggling to be there for my friend


1 post

Posted one year ago

Hi. Never posted before. I’m finding it really hard to know whether I’m doing the right thing or not. My friend told me about her anorexia about three years ago. Since then she’s done well, obviously I never bring it up unless she does which is rare. Until a could of weeks ago. We are very close normally and live in the same house and work together. However , this time she was ill she didn’t tell me , and I noticed she was becoming unwell but didn’t realise how bad until someone from work took her to hosp. I’d been off a few days and she’d told everyone not to tell me. I was worried and visited the hospital but she was angry and I left. Since then over the last few weeks she’s been avoiding me and not really speaking. I don’t know if this is because she knows I know ? She’s acting normal with everyone else. I’m trying to ignore it and still ask her if she wants to do things as we normally would , and make general conversation etc but I don’t know if I’m making it worse for her by keep trying or that if I stop communicating it’ll make a huge rift between us ? I’m worried other people will notice as we usually bounce off each other. She is still looking really unwell. She told everyone at work she had a stomach upset. I understand why this was obviously , but it makes it harder as other people are asking how she is etc and she’ll talk to them. I’ve tried writing a letter explaining that I understand if she is finding it hard to talk to me I’m still here and always will be but she has never been like this for this long before. I don’t know if I’m handling it right and I just want to be able to ask if she’s okay ? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks


220 posts

Posted 11 months ago

Hi sorry my reply is a bit behind the times. It is very difficult to know whether you are doing the right things and the person with the eating disorder is in a very frightened place. She is probably frightened by both recovery and the eating disorder. She has chosen to tell you because she trusts you and now the eating disorder 'voice' may well be very cross with her for talking to you. I hope that the situation has improved and that she is getting support and help

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